Oh, Holland. In trying to figure her crying out, we discovered that she had pretty gnarly lip and tongue tie. I took her to a dentist in American Fork who revises them with a laser. It was horrible. I was so excited when having a girl that I didn’t have to traumatize her with anything like the boys with their circs. But joke was on me (and her), and she got her mouth lasered instead. It did help her latch a little bit, but shortly after having her tongue done a second time (per the lactation consultant’s recommendation), we decided to switch to primarily bottle feeding.
We found Similac Alimentum formula, and she seems to do much better on that then with my breastmilk. This was not an easy decision. I spent days crying because I was literally hurting my baby every time I fed her. Her belly just couldn’t digest what was in my milk, even AFTER going soy and dairy free. I kept messing up and eating things that had soy or dairy in them, too. I was losing a pound a day and was constantly hungry because I was scared that whatever I would eat would end up hurting her. I tried to just fruits, veggies, and meat. But cabbage and broccoli hurt her. And probably other stuff, too! She would get so backed up that I continually needed to give her suppositories every other day. It was an endless cycle of something being wrong!
It was the worst feeling in the world because when she cried, she would SCREAM in pain. Her legs would flail, and she would just shreak. And there was nothing I could do about it. I begged Brock to give her a blessing, and he finally did on the night of her baby blessing. I don’t even remember what it said now, but I do remember that I instantly felt at peace and knew that we could make it through. Enter the formula. I still nurse her once a day just so she can remember how. My hope is that as she outgrows her intolerances and her tummy matures, that we can go back to nursing exclusively. Even if that’s not til she’s a year old, I would love to nurse her til she’s two like I did with Deacs.
Her pediatrician has a theory that as her world around her expands and she is more easily distracted, she will stop focusing so much on her tummy hurting. I don’t know if that’s true, but I can happily say that she seems to have turned a corner. AND she is way more interactive with the world around her. She’s playing on her play mat very actively. She reaches for toys when I hold them in front of her. And it’s really easy to make her smile. I hope the worst is behind us! I just spent $245 on formula the other day!! EEEEKKKK!! I did find it for less expensive on eBay. I bought 12 one pound cans. I’m REALLY hoping that when we are done with those cans, that we can go back to breastfeeding. I’m hopeful. She’s actually nursed a little more the last 3 days and she seems to be doing ok. Fingers crossed.
If there’s anything I learned from all this, it’s that FED IS BEST! Finding out everything she’s intolerant to is nearly impossible. I was hungry. She was hungry and hurting. And formula fixed it all. Why I have guilt over it is beyond me to explain. But every day she has a good day now, I feel less and less guilty. Does she enjoy her bottle as much as she enjoys nursing? Nope! And that’s hard. But I know she’s happier. I’m happier. She’s healthy and fed. And that’s all I can ask for. And as for judging people who don’t nurse their baby? I’ll never do that again!
Holland + the exercise ball = a tiny bit of relief from the crying
Oh, I can’t believe my little buddy is three years old! Mostly because he’s been acting three for quite a while, and he’s definitely been the size of a three year old for a while, too! (Although he still doesn’t talk as well as a three year old!)
I didn’t really know what to get him for his birthday since I’m pretty done with toys constantly being out but not played with. We settled on a Whitten Cowboys jersey, some hockey “hodtee” sticks, a football helmet, and a football. Little Mister was super bad and came downstairs the day before his birthday and broke into his presents. He just got the football and the jersey early so he could wear it on Thanksgiving to Grandma Mel’s.
Cute story. I don’t know where Deacon even picked up what hockey is, but he suddenly became very interested in it. I knew I wanted to get him hockey sticks. We were in TJMAXX one day, and they had a set of sticks. I hid one in the basket, but he walked around with another set. I kept telling him that we couldn’t get them. But then he said he would pay for them. I asked him if he had any money to pay for them. He started checking his pockets, and then held up his empty hands. It was SO SAD! Even though I knew I was buying him some, it broke my heart that he wanted them so bad, but didn’t know how to get them. It was so cute.
We sang Happy Birthday to him and had him open the rest of his presents at my parents house on his birthday. We went down there for a second Thanksgiving, and it was a great day. WE topped it off with a visit to Chuck-E-Cheeses on the way home.
Three year stats: 3 ft 1 inch (85% – what the heck?!) 34 Pounds (85th%). He’s turning in to quite the little man! Literally, he has man paws for hands. And his cheeks are just growing and growing! He’s actually losing a lot of his baby/toddler look to me, and is just starting to look like a little boy.
Since he turned three, he got to start speech at Canyon. He feels pretty big that he goes to Tim’s school. I love it since I go hang out in Tim’s classroom and help Mrs. Olsen with tedious filing tasks.
Since I know Deacon will most likely want to choose his own Halloween costume next year, I knew I had to get Ralphie in while I had the chance. And I’ll never regret it! Funny story: A woman in our ward brought over dinner right after Deacon’s “ralphie gun” came in the mail. It make noise, and he was being extra noisy while she was over. I apologized, and explained that it was part of his Halloween costume. She couldn’t believe it, and proceeded to tell me a story about how her son video recorded Deacon during Sacrament meeting one day and sent it out to his family. He told them all the Ralphie was in his ward. It’s definitely not the first time someone has said out of the blue that he looks like Ralphie, but I always crack up when others say it. We think so, too!
Tim decided he wanted to be Hawkeye from the Avengers. I got him a bow and arrow from Amazon, not realizing it was a pretty legitimate bow! He’s had lots of fun playing with it, but couldn’t take it to school for obvious reasons on Halloween 😉
Brock’s co-workers always dress up. So the picture of him is what we came up with the night before after scouring the kids’ dress up….
Not pictured – Holland in her mermaid costume. Mainly because she never actually got put in it. #3rdkid
We had a great time trick-or-treating with Laini and Ila. Uncle Chantz even gave Deacs a few rides on his scooter and swagway chair to help him keep up with the big kids. Lil Miss Holland was sort of fussy, and it got pretty cold. But it was a great night trick-or-treating in our neighborhood for the first time!
Tim’s teacher really went above and beyond and does a Halloween poetry program. The kids sang songs and each recited a poem from memorization. Tim’s was: “Johnny drew a monster. The monster chased him. Just in time, Johnny erased him!” Tim has told me multiple times he doesn’t like getting up in front of people, but he did amazing on his part and rocked it! So proud when he accomplishes things he is nervous to do.